I expected today to be quiet and peaceful. My students were to be writing persuasive arguments about Things Fall Apart. Instead, in between fielding questions about concession paragraphs and whether Okonkwo is really a tragic hero, I found myself quietly addressing the following:
1. Whether I use a lot of hand lotion because my skin looks so soft.
2. Whether I agreed that the best part of the cereal is the last little powdery bits in the bottom.
3. Why I need to have permission slips for them to see R-rated movies even though they are 17 and 18.
4. Whether I thought Quintel had skin cancer on his wrist where his skin was slightly darker and slightly less sensitive (he told me) than on the other part of his wrist.
5. Whether I thought Eric had skin cancer on his arm by his tattoo.
6. Why SUNY Oswego would send Roger a letter complimenting him on his essay without sending him an acceptance letter.
7. How Ramon liked reading Walden (his own choice) when he was in the hospital during Regents week.
8. How silly it is for anyone to lease a car instead of buying one.
9. That the general consensus of the class was that I did NOT need botox even though they make me squint my face in funny ways when they ask bizarre questions, which causes a frown line on the right side of my forehead.
10. Why they were not going to collect money in order to fund my botox injections.
11. Why there are so many American Pie and Bring It On movies.
12. Katie's announcement that she has a very short attention span.
13. Whether it would be better for my husband to come in to visit or whether I should tape record them secretly so he could see first-hand what they were like.
14. Why my mouth twitches when I try not to laugh.