07 January 2011

So now I have a LOOK . . .

(As students work on laptops creating a survival show in the style of The Hunger Games but set in a European country of their choice.)

Me (looking over John's shoulder): That’s good. Austria was a good choice. You’ve learned about the climate and terrain. How are you using this to develop your show?

John: Um, the contestants have to climb mountains.

Me: Okay. How many contestants?

John: 200.

Me: Um, 200 is a lot.

John (quickly): Okay. 20.

Me: Better. Okay, you’re in good shape. Make your rules and objective a bit more specific. Let me know if you need help.


Me: So, John, I'm wondering what Megan Fox has to do with your game.

John (quickly minimizing his googled Megan Fox images screen): She’s going to be in the game. I decided my game will be like those celebrity reality shows.

Me: Um, okay. It’s still got to be set in Austria in the mountains, though.

John (slowly): Right . . .

Me: No, really, you have to stick with Austria. You don't have enough time to switch countries right now. Also, you probably can't have Megan Fox climbing mountains in a bathing suit.

(George snorts.)

John: Um, she won’t.

(George snorts again.)
Me: Right? She'd die way too fast.

John: Yeeesssss . . .

Me: No, John, really. You need to stop looking for pictures of Megan Fox and finish defining your rules.

John: I am, Miss.

Me: Really?

John: Yes. Really. But I’m switching from Austria to Italy.

Me: You can’t. You don’t have time. Without defining your rules, contestants are the least of your worries. And you can’t just switch to a warmer climate so Megan Fox can be in a swim suit!

John: I’m not!

Me (slowly): You're sticking with Austria? Right?

John: Right. Yes. Okay.

Me: Okay. Then I'll leave you alone. It's fine.

John: No it’s not. You just gave me that look.

Me: Did not.

(George snorts.)

John: Yes, you did. You gave me THAT look.

Me: John, I most certainly do not have A look. Or THAT look. Or any particular look.

John: Yes, you do. See? George saw it.

George: Just put Megan Fox in a jumpsuit, John. She'll still look good.

John (pointing to me): See? THAT look right there!

05 January 2011

Conundrums before coffee make me very . . . whatever.

(As students enter the room, Mike notices two shopping bags sitting on a desk.)

Mike: Miss, what’s in the bags?

Me: Dunno. Ms. Smith just dropped them off, so I thought it would be rude and disrespectful to look through them.

Mike: I know. That’s what I thought. But you know how some of these kids are; they might see those bags and just be rude and disrespectful anyway. So I was just thinking to myself what to say to them in the event someone decided to be rude and disrespecful. I would hate to have to face a huge conundrum, especially first thing in the morning.

Me (distracted): Um, glad you're thinking, Mike. . . . uh, wait. What? I'm sorry, Mike. Conundrum?

Mike (sighing heavily): You know, Miss. A huge controversy or problem or issue. You know, if I had to teach someone not to be rude and disrespectful. Especially first thing in the morning.

Me: Wow, Mike. Conundrum? Wow.

Mike: What, Miss? You don’t like my vocabulary?

Me: Um, no, I do. I really do. It’s very . . . what’s the word?

Mike: Extensive?

Me: Yes. That, too.