23 December 2009

Miracle lotion treats all skin types: ashy, pinky and yellowy beige.

As students enter the classroom first thing in the morning . . .

Gwendolyn: Miss? You got any lotion?

Me: Yup. In my bottom left drawer.

Gwendolyn: Oh, I like this lotion. It's good.

Me: Thanks. I like it too.

Grace: I like Palmer's.

Gwendolyn: Uh huh. And Suave is too watery.

Nadine: Yeah, but Palmer's is too thick for me.

Grace: What's that lotion in the blue bottle?

Me (thinking): . . . Nivea?

Grace: Yeah! That's it.

Gwendolyn (to me, laughing): That's what you should have, Miss. That's white people's lotion.

Me: I'm sorry. What?

Elizabeth: What? Why?

Gwendolyn (as others nod in agreement): I dunno. It just is.

Me: Hmm. Okay. Whatever. So the lotion I just gave you isn't white people's lotion?

Nadine (laughing): Naw, Miss, it's good for us, too. See? It's in a brown bottle!

Me: O, lord. . . but if Nivea's in a blue bottle, why is it for white people? . . .

Samantha: Can I have some too? I'm mad ashy today.

Elizabeth: Oh yeah! Me, too.

Me: . . . I can see you're not going to answer my question . . .

Samantha (to Elizabeth): White people don't get ashy!

Elizabeth: What? Yeah, we do.

Samantha: No, you don't. Or if you do it doesn't show because you're pink.

Me: What? Pink?! I'm certainly not pink. I'm more of a . . . um . . . yellowy beige . . . AND Elizabeth and I will go without using lotion for a week just to prove that white people get ashy too.

Elizabeth (as others nod in agreement): I know, right?

Grace: Miss? May I have some lotion even though it's not for Puerto Ricans?

Me (sighing): Of course.


Anonymous said...

I loved reading your blog. I teach fourth grade, my husband teaches high school theatre, so we relate! Good luck!

Tongue Trip said...

haha im an Indian, whats apt for me? this is cute and hilarious!

toppogigio said...

I had a great laugh reading your blog posts....reminded me so much of my own teaching career. I spent 15 years teaching in alternative schools, and got some really "interesting characters" in my classes. I do wish I'd had a tape recorder to capture some of those conversations...

I'm out of the classroom now, and I do miss the kids and their energy. Reading your blog brings it all right backQ! THANKS!!

nfhuth said...

Glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate your kind words!


Anonymous said...

Very funny stuff, and one of my best mates mentioned ashy skin to me too!!! He said it just shows up a lot worse on him that me because of his colour!
I am the worlds biggest hand cream user!

Anonymous said...

I loved your blog and read for over an hour! I'm a teacher also and always get a kick out of students' comments. You never know what they are going to say!

Anonymous said...

That was the most amazing story ever!