26 February 2010

One-stop shopping for all your comedy, trauma and suing needs.

(In the library researching college and career options for a short research project)

Genevieve: Miss Huth, we've got it all figured out.

Me: What's that? And, by the way, it's about time.

Genevieve: What we're all going to do when we have jobs.

Me: Hmmmm. Okay. Let's hear it.

John: So, you know that I'm going to be a lawyer or a comedian.

Me: Um, yes. I mean, what?? Um, okay.

John: Yeah, Miss. It'll be fine. Anyway . . .

Me: Right. Anyway . . .

John: So Thomas is going to teach elementary school.

Me: Uh huh.

John: And he's going to invite me to entertain his class.

Thomas (nodding vigorously): That's right.

Me: Oy.

John: Whatever. So anyway, I'm going to heckle his class, all the little second graders.

Me (slowly): Isn't the audience supposed to do the . . .

John (interrupting): . . . yeah, whatever, Miss. Show a little support, please. So I'll heckle the little kids and traumatize them.

Me: O lord.

John: Yeah, so once the little kids are totally screwed up because of my act, then . . .

Genevieve: . . . then they come to me, the psychologist so I can fix them!

(John, Genevieve and Thomas take turns high-fiving each other.)

Me: I see you've got it all figured out. Wow. What a relief, guys. And I was worried you didn't have a plan.

John: Naw, Miss. We've always got a plan. And if I become a lawyer, I can defend myself and Thomas when the little kids' parents sue us. See? It's perfect!